JIM-E-BROWN - SENSATION OF THE CENTURY

In the mid-80s, The Cure languished, producing Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me, their most commercially successful album to date. Robert Smith, in his miserable old self, was worried that age was catching up with him, before the pen had gleaned his teeming brain. Then, in 1989, The Cure released their magnum opus “Disintegration” at the age of 30 – hardly the decline of youth in those days.

Photography Courtesy of Jordan Hartley

As always, the New-Wave comes and goes, and while The Cure are still important, there is a new figure for the 21st-century New-Wave, who we’d argue is in for a good shot at reaching these sorts of Deific heights. Born in Didsbury, Manchester, Jim E Brown describes himself as an alcoholic with degenerative conditions. He’s released viral hit after hit, including “I Found a Dead Fox Outside Sainsbury’s in Fallowfield” and “I Know I’m Going to Die of a Stroke”. Brown has been on a constant worldwide tour, a crazy train through Australia, America and Europe. Now he’s back in the UK. He’s dated a Nancy and a Brittany; he has a crow-beaten adoptive brother called Archie. Do we dare peel the skin back behind Jim- E-Brown, and see the grisly black pudding underneath?

He’s a slippery figure, but we managed to catch him during his brief stint here in Scotland. Amidst a greasy dinner and debilitating amounts of alcohol, The New-Wave-Times spoke with the legend himself

NWT- Why Music Jim?

-JIM E BROWN- It’s just a way to express meself really, I don’t really enjoy listening to music, You know I just write it. Well I don’t even write it, I pay.....Children, to write it for me. I use this website called fiver for Bangladeshi children to write my lyrics. that’s how I began just paying children but I’ve gotten better though so I’m writing a lot more of my own stuff now. Not because I want to but just because it’s cheaper really

NWT- What about your cover of Kiss From A Rose (Originally by SEAL and included in Batman Forever) Jim?

-JIM E BROWN - Well, I am very transactional. I want to make a lot of money, but I don’t like those films about the hot men with the hot bodies in skin-tight suits. It’s a bit weird to me, really, and they’re doing magnanimous things to help people...It’s all a bit weird to me, really. Why do you have to be magnanimous when you are wearing the costume of an animal? I do know that humans are animals too, I just learned that actually

-NWT- If I were a mad scientist and I was going to turn you into an animal-based superhero, what would you see yourself as?

Jim Enjoying his Haggis and Freedom Fries

-JIM E BROWN - I wouldn’t have the stamina to do that. Well, I’m a fat f**k, so maybe a pig. I’m really disgusting and foul, so maybe a rat as well

AT THIS POINT - A MEAL ARRIVES. FREEDOM FRIES, LOADED WITH HAGGIS, AND A SIDE OF TWO FLOPPY HAGGIS DISKS FOR JIM

-JIM E BROWN - Would It be rude for me to ask you to video me eating this haggis?

-NWT- Not at all! (Video can be found here)

-NWT- It’s good to see you’re enjoying the haggis. Coming back from your world tour, are there any other delicacies you’ve liked?

JIM E BROWN - I ate a wallaby in Australia, and I found out what those were. Wallaby is quite nice. I liked Australian beers....Not VB

-NWT- What Happened with the VB?

JIM E BROWN - I got ill from VB. Deathly Ill. I had a hangover. I don’t get hangovers because I am perpetually drunk. I was maybe poisoned. One thing I always say about alcohol is that it all tastes s**t. I like the psychological effects mainly.

-NWT - Before we go, Do you have a message for Scotland?

JIM E BROWN“A message to Scotland is that I’ve tried haggis now and I quite like it. Otherwise, this is a foul and disgusting place. There are too many trees and nature and sky and all the things like that. Sky and sun. A bit unnerving, a bit s**t. I hope my trip here will involve lots of alcohol and Haggis, and Meat. Otherwise, this is an alarming and grotesque place ”

Jim went on stage three hours later, utterly electric. he’s been born 40 years too late for the charts, but just at the right time for a bidding audience. We’ve no longer got Top of the Pops, Old Grey Whistle Test or Look Hear, but this is the calibre of performance that should have appeared on those shows. He’s a one man army on stage, and if he’s ever back in Scotland YOUR presence is demanded