MENTAL MASTURBATATHON #6
MENTAL MASTURBATATHON #6 EVERY DAY SHOULD BE A HOLIDAY
“Summer”is here, and so too is a holiday & tourism centric issue of Mental Masturbatathon - Intellectually stimulating features for the revolutionary, perverse and decadent
OVER TOURISM - it exists, urban centres around the world cannot face the influx of the leisure class swarming to summer their way through sweltering heat in the northern hemisphere to make up for the hollow cultureless void that they call their soul. Barcelona is most prominently in the news, as residents have taken to the streets with water guns to make the “tourist experience” as unenjoyable as possible - fair enough. I’m not saying holidays are immoral or that people shouldn’t feel bad for wanting to experience other cultures; however, there is a distinct issue with the travel industry and the idea of tourism in general that is reaching a breaking point in Europe and beyond.
For those of you from Edinburgh, you will be bracing yourselves for another Fringe Festival - the 3rd most popular international event after the World Cup and the Olympics. 2025 promises not to be just any Fringe Festival, this one is accompanied by sellout concerts from Oasis, AC/DC and Chappel Roan, every successive weekend in August - suffice to say, the ship might sink. While I wouldn’t designate myself a fringe hater per-se, its becoming increasingly common for art-school London wanks to working-class cosplay their way up to Edinburgh for a month problem free while residents are kicked out of their flats to make way for temporary lets & homeless are disgracefully booted out of accommodation
Now, if I were some sort of right-wing grifter, I’d designate this breaking point as the result of immigration or wars or something or other that has to do with people that aren’t white - spoilers - it’s not that. I have more in common with the global disenfranchised of all creeds, colours and sexualities than I do with the new nosferatu-gentry that continue to suckle on the bleeding teats of working people around the world. At the end of the day, the international issue is that of greed - excessive greed, the moral detachment from the human condition to ceaselessly feed the economy machine.
The castle was lit with images representing the five distinct areas of the new theme park. (Image: The Promotions Factory)
Treading carefully upon my words, as a working man in the tourism sector - I contribute to the issue - and particularly to the issue in Edinburgh: tourism in Edinburgh is unique - increasing attempts at Americanisation have seen “Edinboro” become somewhat of a theme park, Guests in attendance search for magical tidbits like the grave of Tom riddle before visiting mcgonagals for a bit of pre-dinner scotch and then trot down the royal mile to find the finest serving of “Hag-arse, Nay Nay’s and tat-eez. The most grievous instance was May’s exhibition by Universal studios - who saw fit to advertise their theme parks across the pond - by projecting their details onto Edinburgh castle- Universal studios has no foothold in Edinburgh, they’re opening a park in England in the next few years yeah, but why are they here, and why is our national monument denigrated as a billboard for American business interests? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to come out and call for protection of our national heritage and what not- it’s not the desecration of the icon itself that’s the problem - it’s the message, a message that we are a themepark first and a city second.
James Connolly was a Scottish-born Irish Republican & Socialist born on the Cowgate in 1868 who founded the Irish Socialist Republican Party.
Now there are alternatives - Edinburgh’s working-class history and “alternative” (stories opposing the romanticisation of Edinburgh) history are explored in the People’s Story Museum and on the Alternative Edinburgh walking tour. Unfortunately, these services are severely underutilised, with the people’s story coming under constant threat from cut funding, so much so that it nearly closed earlier this year. Alongside this, fragments of Edinburgh’s working-class history can still be discovered by the insightful wanderer. Cowgate’s James Connolly murals, The Folk circle and the Alternative Edinburgh Festival - are all examples of our city’s past revolutionary architecture that can be worked upon for a modern age to accurately depict Edinburgh, and to push back against the themeparketizing of our city.
Remain active - Those who do not know their history, be it their personal history or history of the world around them, are doomed to repeat it.
