AULD REEKIE, AULD PROBLEMS
We’re hard at work here at HQ on the official New Wave Times physical print issue #1. Interviews with some special names have gone underway, and some lovely stuff is coming your way. Until then, here’s a recently submitted ANONYMOUS piece received in the aftermath of Mental Masturbatathon #6. Is it prose? Is it a bit much? Who knows. I liked it, you be the judge.
Ahoy Ahoy! Ascend Auld Reekie, ascend to flood Princes street gardens, bring back the Norloch and fill it with the beautifully mutilated remnants of the St James Centre and beyond
We are guilty beyond hope - historically so - the new town of Edinburgh exists as a foul remnant of the bygone British empire at the height of its power - Following the Jacobite rising, Edinburgh’s new town, constructed for the rich, had many street names “anglicised” to promote British identity over Scottish identity : e.g thistle street and rose street to represent the conjoining of the two powers. The most egregious example of this is Edinburgh’s disgrace - atop calton hill, also called “the pride and poverty of Scotland”, it’s been left purposefully unfinished since the napoleonic wars by our gracious union lords to “pay respect” to the “Future heroism” of the people of Scotland. The descottification and cultural erasure of Edinburgh continues to this day - we are slagged by the rest of Scotland for being a little London. Don’t get me wrong, I am wholly on side of a greatly diverse and multicultural Edinburgh - I do not care where you come from - I care only for your ignorance and jingoism.
There is a concentrated and conjoined effort by the upper-middle classes of London & the United States to gentrify the shit out of Edinburgh that has become more concentrated following the election of Trump - somehow the disgusting orange rapist convicted felon has managed to impact nearly every aspect of my life and it’d be a great delight to see him hung drawn, quartered and burnt from Edinburgh castle down to parliament for the opening of the fringe while he’s still in this country rotting Aberdeen to Falkirk with his foul wotsit demeanour.
There’s the statement that’ll see me detained and ruthlessly arse fingered by border patrol or ICE upon entry to the United States - hence my submission being anonymous. Do with this what you will. If suitable i would greatly appreciate being published, I have more words, but they shall wait.
Ta, Ta
Intriguing stuff. let’s hope our anonymous typewriting trooper doesn’t get ruthlessly arse fingered by ICE. Only time will tell.
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